it's 2a.m.

my sleep cycle is ruined. im sleeping at 3 in the morning for so many nights now and waking up at 12 then having my evening cat naps. that seems to be all that i do over here. sleep. and i think im finally sick of sleeping:( my head physically hurt from lying down too much and i still havent gotten my pisang goreng:( im so awake. sigh. i cant wait to go to college tmrw, it'll be the first official day of learning although, i dont like my bio teacher or bio since its basically chemistry. were learning chemistry in bio. this place is evil. i dont know if i like my chem teacher either. my math teacher seems fierce and all im looking forward to is english classes and to use my new pencil box with my new stationaries and my new files with my new study system and drinking from my new bottle. whee. one more thing i absolutely cant wait for is friday, cause that's when i head home. i cant wait to buy pretty reference books too from kl where the bookstores are awesomer :) i wanna faster finish reading burnt shadows so i can start reading eat, pray, love but i havent been in a reading mood lately. sigh. i miss my family so much. who knew. i really miss driving in my car too but good news, i get to bring saga sex (yes that's the name of my car) with me to kepala batas. yay! convenience! sigh. imma get back to playing sandwich stacker till i fall asleep. sigh, sleep. yucks.

Paperweight ♥

♥

Been up all night, staring at you. Wondering what's on your mind.

I've been this way with so many before but this feels like the first time.

You want the sunrise to go back to bed, I wanna make you laugh.

Mess up my bed with me. kick off the covers im waiting.

Every word you say I think I should write down. Dont wanna forget come daylight.

Happy to lay here, just happy to be here, im happy to know you.

Play me a song, your newest one.

Please leave your taste on my tongue.

♥

my endless love.

Cause you, you mean the world to me. I know i've found in you.

My endless love. Happy one year handsome boy, you know im always missing you over here and my every thought just leads back to memories of us. How happy it feels to be close to you, listening to you all day and watching you smile and tell me your funny jokes. You look so cute all the time. I miss your fat cheeks and and soft skin. I miss the look in your eyes when we just stare in each others eyes and I cry immediately. You make me melt evrytime you say “goodnight baby” the way you do. I dont blog about you so openly often but, today's a special occasion, you dont need me to tell you the next part cause I know you know it already. I've told you many times before, and I will many more years to come and i'll mean it with every cell (pre-med student ;)hahah. Totally killing the moment) in me, I love you, and I fall in love with you all over again everytime I say it.

♥ Nabihah 

To familiar beginnings; second home.

Yesterday was a long day, we had a little field trip to Flemington Hotel, Taiping for the official function of the allianze between ACMS-NUIG-UCC-Hospital Taiping. There were speeches and the Ireland people sound sooo like on Ps I Love You :):) I cant wait to venture Ireland, it'll be so exciting. Even Taiping was really pretty, just like Mr Siva said. There were gardens everywhere, the weather was good and lakes were so pretty. I cant wait for Mr Siva to come visit me when im doing my clinical with his beautiful wife and 3 year old kid :) I hope his baby will have a tummy I can kiss when I meet him/her. And somehow the whole time im typing this out, the song from ps I love you is playing in my head, the theme song. Sort of. I feel so.... Holly right now :) So we had a long day in the bus, I was so tired from the night before and fell asleep in the bus and woke up sweating cause it was really hot. The good thing bout the trip is I made more friends, 3 more to be exact and they're girls! And from my group and I really like them. Im starting to feel more and more like home here:) we had good roti telur in the morning before taiping and there was astro! STARWORLD OMG I MISS STARWORLD:'( then im yours came onnnnn. Freaked out my new friends for a second but jason (wah, first name basis some more ;) ) still has that effect on me. So that was a happy start to the trip:) Btw people here are sooooo freaking hardworking, they're forever studying. At Taiping we had free tea/dinner in an aircond place and it felt so good, with cold soya bean and for the first time we didnt have to walk ten minutes away in the hot sun to get good food and I got pisang goreng :D Though I didnt get my mcdees but my craving is starting to slowly subside. We reached home around 9 then I had a warm shower (OMG). I had a dream the night before that the shower in my dorm could produce warm water if I flipped it the other way and it felt so good and real so just now in the morning I was just staring at the knob to see if it was possible so tonight I decided to boil hot water and put it in my baldi then add cold water so I had a nice warm shower and I wish I could just fit myself into the baldi and fall asleep into a land where all is warm and wet? My brain's too tired to think of a more appropriate word that wouldnt give that sentence a double meaning. Hahah. I just really feel like typing on my lappie tonight even though I know I have a stack of notes(already! Okay, maybe not a stack la.) waiting for me on my study table and my story book waiting for me to uncover the rest of it's pages before I fall into slumber, as I do nightly. Something else I would do nightly, have a warm shower. Its like a mini orgasm. Especially with aaron far away, i'm becoming easy to please. HAHAHA. IM TOTALLY KIDDING. Speaking about my handsome boy, today's our special dayy :):) I miss you so much babe and after a year of waiting, our special day is finally here. How do you still manage to make me tear everytime I think of you. Cant wait for the endless years ahead of us. No matter what becomes of us, you will always have my whole heart:') Tomorrow I will attempt getting up before 12 as nani and I are craving roti canaii and shall go have a morning walk, our exercise for the week (hahah, Ive gotten lazy. Yet this is old news) and we will have good breakfast, send my laundry and then buy some stationaries, I need to get organised. Tomorrow's a holiday btw, its killing me how I cant just go back to kl to give everyone I love a really long hug :( I miss jason my fat cattt :( Then i'll spend the rest of the day reading my book and loading gossip glee and glee finale! It looks so freaking good I cant stop thinking of it :(:(:( I gots to get to studying noww. Tata for nowww peeps.

Ps: I didnt screw up my first 2 white clothings!!! yay yayyy! I just ironed them and they're stilll whiteeeee :)

i got something to shout about :)

wohhooo. im so proud of myself blogginggg. whee. 3rd post today okayy!! :D:D well classes havent started la so yeahh. sigh. my tummy is cravingggg.

I'm feeling rather patriotic lately. hmmmm.

I learn many things while im here. It helps that i have roommates from, kedah and terengganu and a few of them who grew up in the boarding school world and just really in touch with their malay side. if you know what i mean, and that isnt a bad thing at all. infact while im here, i can take advantage of that too :) i've been learning how to use words that terengganu-ans use and speaking with the kedah slang with the accent and everything, and although they laugh at me when i do it, it's pretty fun learning about other cultures. After all, are we not one malaysia? :) For instance, apparently malay people eat pisang goreng with sambal and kicap. i find this weird but as my roommates say "tapi sedap sangat-sangat" they like to say "sangat-sangat" hahaha. and you know how we always say kopek buah and mean peeling it? in terengganu kopek means boobs. hahaha. and when they were explaining it to me they went silent everytime it came to the word boobs and they felt so segan saying it. hahaha. but i was just like you mean tetek? hahaha. sounds funny when i type it, i should be more demure or should i say ayu? dont you think. maybe their good habits will rub off on me. one of them being NOT sleeping all day :s do you know what they're doing now? classes hasnt even started and they're studying already! they're revising form 5 stuff, reading bio and englih essays. hahaha. Fat chance their rajin-ness will rub off on me though:( and back to the kopek story, in kedah kopek means wallet. so let's say a kedah-an were to go to terengganu and talk about their wallet, the terengganu people would think they were taking bout their boobs. hahaha. isnt this interesting? They also talk about lots of malay dishes and im like, i want mcd's and when they're eating jeruk buah after lunch, i want marshmallows.Its interesting how people from different ends of Semenanjung can have such varying taste buds :) oh well, maybe i can rub off on them? who says they cant learn a thing or two from me eh ;) im already rubbing off on one of my roommates, she's been sleeping all day. oh yes, they'll learn many from me :)

The simple, kampung life:)

Woke up earlier today, 11.30 to be exact and i knew the plans of the day ahead of me and i wasnt loving it but i knew i'd feel better once its all done.
To do list for the day:
1. Wash telekong and sejadah cause it smells of your stinky room
2. Mop the floors of your stinky room with dettol disinfectant so your stinky room will now smell of lime and you wont have to worry bout gross things under your bed before you sleep at night.
3. Scrub your stinky sport shoes till it's at least an acceptable shade of white (this was tiring)
4. sweep all the hair on the floor
5. iron clothes that are dry (oh btw, the answer to my hard clothes prayer is... SOFTLAN!)
6. finally eatt. on the menu todayy.. maggiii. wheee.
And im proud to say that i am an independent girl living on my own and completed all the chores on her to do list:D sigh. baby steps for everyone here is a milestone to me but im happy. Im out with my roommate now at the clubhouse getting some fresh air cause the house is really stuffy and dark and fresh air would be good right now. plus my book's finally getting good so i cant wait to read that, especially since gossip girl's loading reaaaally slowly :(
The conclusion is, i feel very humble staying here, like my being is so insignificant in this world. It opened my eyes to how ive taken for granted every little luxury i had and getting to know the people here, im grateful cause honestly my parents made sure i had a good life. simple things like going to KDU, learning how to swim, having my room cleaned everyday when i come back from school, clean clothes folded neatly in my cupboard. i feel an epiphany coming if it hasnt already dawn on me. "Everything happens for a reason. " true that.

thoughts, wind and I.

Today is my first day here where we dont have a planned agenda since the past three days its been orientation and i guess i could get used to the freedom. there's a "clubhouse" in our housing area where there's  a seating area and a pool though im not gonna swim here but its kinda nice seating here with the wind blowing having alone time on my lappie. i think im turning into a loner. Alone time is just so peaceful :) sometimes. though i wouldnt mind having my friends come visit me. *hint hint* I woke up late today,well 12 in the afternoon :S but i might as well enjoy it before i have to start studying. Then my roommates and i went for a 10 minute walk in the hot hot heat to get lunch cause that's the nearest shoplot area. i was craving pisang goreng after lunch with milo ais :) food here is just okay, but i guess its better than maggi all day. i bought cempedak goreng instead though cause it was getting really hot and i'll eat pisang goreng tomorrow:D And i bought my first bottle of cold mineral water. ahhhh, yes that was good. Then more laundry when i got back and another cold shower after sweating and put on a fresh batch of clothing and im at the clubhouse listening to jason mraz:) im kinda worried that im not doing my laundry properly. i dont know, i get so paranoid that it's not fully cleaned and i screwed it up, it gets so hard after its dried, someone tell me whyyy:(:( is it supposed to be that wayy? :( However i have simple little things that help me by and i know god's with me helping me day by day (though i lose sight of that sometimes) i wonder what i'll eat for dinner, im feeling kuey teow :) i wish my gossip girl would load already but its nottt :( its a good episode, the suspense is killing me! at least i have my book to read in the meantime :)
tataaaaa my pretty friendsss.

3 days in Kepala Batas and counting :(

The homesick is starting to really kick in, the first night was the worst though. trying to fall asleep at night on an unfamiliar bed with unfamiliar smells and thoughts, just crying myself to sleep wasnt enough. i had to clean up the whole room cause it was so dusty and i mean SO DUSTY. it was gross. The second day as i made more friends i guess it got better but then i just miss everything. It's definitely not the same, im still in malaysia and its already so different, im getting used to the whole housewife routine though but still, i wish i could fit in properly. even in a whole school full of malays, i still feel like an outsider looking in half the time. dont get me wrong, the people are really nice but i guess i just really miss my girls and everything back in kl. especially hugging jason and nemo :'( i wanna play stupid childish games with my brother again, and wim in my pool, sleep in my ned which i know is clean, with aircond and wake up to hot water. i cant do this asrama thing. i just want something  familiar. fingers crossed that thing get better and i can handle things better too. sigh. at least i still have some form of internet.